You're my ugly Imprint, Baby
by pmu
Summary: Sam bloodied my face, Leah rescued me but not before we shared the ugliest imprint. She will never set me free - yet she will never love me either. Leah Clewarwater is my imprint. Yes this will hurt to read. Love has never cried tears like this. *Sequel to Map me with Bruises, Baby
1. i'm his national anthem

**Authors Note: This story is rated M for a reason - strong angst (with a purpose) and emotional damage.**

**This is the last I will post this up, I have edited it and cleaned it up. Change the ending - words, not context. I have been told it's too "Shakespeare" aka prose style, so I have adapted a few things to help tone it down a bit but honestly I don't really care if you still think that. I love this story and ready to move on.**

**So if angst, emotional damage with a slice of sexual intensity isn't your bag of tricks - then find another author. For those who love it, enjoy :) Make sure you read Map me with Bruises,Baby first as that is the prequel to this.**

**You're my ugly Imprint, Baby**

* * *

I am his national anthem. I am his imprint – who he mapped with bruises.

The air is thick, I feel like I am chocking on it. The sky is clouded with murky colors, my vision is hazy. Everything about this day screams in my face, "_You should have stayed in bed, should have never woken up._"

There will be no solace today.

He moves behind me, we have not spoken since we departed from Canada. I am not sure what to say and neither is he. I'm still the girl he imprinted on who killed the love of his life. I feel no remorse for doing it either.

We work are way through our familiar forest and cross the line into Sam's pack territory. We have thrown ourselves into the lions den and I'm not sure if he will come out alive. Then again, who really cared what happened between me and Jacob?

They all hated me, it was evident when they watched him fight me the first time and did nothing. Not one of them, not even my own brother even bothered to ask me if I was okay after that. Was it that I was beyond thinking of as a female? Or is it that I'm not worth caring about?

"_Daddy, I wish you were here….How do I sleep now at night now?"_

I can't hear any other pack members thoughts now, just Jacobs. He is silent though, but he is in there. His presence is known inside my head, suffocating me to the point I want to scream just to hear him say something. To make me know I'm not alone.

We are deep enough in the forest now and almost to Billy's house. We need his protection right now. Correction, Jacob needs his protection.

Our presence is no longer a secret, the packs howl in a chain reaction, calling out to each other. We need to run faster.

I kick my legs harder, thinking of nothing but one thing. Get to Billy's house.

I don't look back and I fail as an imprint to not even notice that Jacob is no longer pacing behind me or by my side. He has fallen back. I can no longer smell him in the air. It doesn't matter, I keep pushing forwarded. No one said this was a beautiful imprint. **I'm a genetic dead and degenerated imprintee.**

Plain and simple.

Maybe his heart outweighed his wolfs mind and soul, told him that coming back here was stupid. That coming back for me as I requested was stupid and to let the weight of the imprint kill him instead. At least he could die with some sort of resolve knowing he died instead of shaking up with the woman who killed the love of his life?

_"Maybe he isn't so stupid after all.. and maybe I'm stupid to think I still have some purpose here ... to protect people, my mother?"_

The clearing is close, the forest is slowly disappearing behind me as I hone in on my object. A red tattered house with a black tarp held down by weights on the roof to keep the rain out. There is Billy, in his wheelchair, on the ramp praying for his son's safe return. His hands grip the handle bars as he narrows his eyes trying to find and make out his son in the distance.

I make it to him, turning around, half way hoping I was stupid and forgot out how to smell Jacob and he was behind me the whole time. Of course he isn't; I maybe a degenerate imprint, but not a bad wolf.

I see no sign of him and cannot smell him. I don't see or smell the others either, which is a blessing for me but maybe not for Jacob.

An ache pulls at my chest, I become frantic and I make noises I never knew I could. I was whining, like a bitch who was lost. My vision becomes diluted as I see nothing but Jacob's image in my head, I focus solely on that. He isn't in wolf form, but human form. "_Idiot! They will kill you for sure!"_

Billy moves off the ramp and next to me. I feel his hand touching me and I jump to face him, sneering at him out of reflex from being on high guard in the moment. I nudge my head at his hand, trying to show some sort of fucked up apology. He accepts, tight fingers hold on to my fur and making me look him in the eyes. Tears ran down his face, falling between the few wrinkles he has picked up in his old age.

He looks defeated. I feel defeated.

I can hear something now, faintly but it's picking up. There are too many taps and stomps to figure out how many are coming and who is coming. They are on foot, I know that.

The wolf in me is not pleased and takes this as treat. I circle around Billy, snapping at the wind l snarl like the beast of an animal I can be and want to be right now. I dare anyone to come on this land. I will protect this land; I will protect this old man and his heart. He will not endure the sight of his son being executed or beaten by them. He is an extension of my imprint rather I like it or not.

"_Please don't be Sam…don't be Seth…"_

I am not that lucky.

Sam emerges from the thicket of the forest. Seth following in behind him and Paul, I didn't hesitate to show my aggression towards them. Rather I would bite or not is left to be questioned. Paul yes! Sam and Seth … I hope I don't have to find out.

I circle around Billy, like I'm hot wired to protect the family of my imprint. That this is what I do, what I will do for him. Jacob.

"Leah, you where suppose to run! To never come back, I gave you the freedom that you longed for." Sam's human voice booms against my ears, his anger vibrating down my spine. I snarl in return and bit at the air showing my dominance.

"Leah…. Why? Why did you come back and with him of all people?" Seth finally cries out, his face is splotches up with redness, eyes on verge of crying. He is too old to be this naive and emotional about something like this. He needs to grow up and harden around the edges. He is too late to show he even cares. He should have loved me more just a few weeks ago.

I scan the area and notice the new sent invading my nose. Jacob has finally reached the new battle ground. He is calm, head high and walk strong like a predator - like an Alpha but I can still see all the broken parts of him. Just a little less broken then the last time when I saw him in human skin.

"You do not deserve to touch her again!" Seth wails out loud, surprisingly it is Paul who holds him back from advancing on Jacob. Maybe Rachael doesn't want her baby brother being killed either? "Paul, get him out of here! This is between me and Jacob now." Sam roars at them, keeping his eyes solely focused on Jacob.

"Can't do that Sam, promised Ray her brother would be alive tomorrow. So take it easy on him." Paul says back so causally. I have never seen him so calm, so un-invested in a physical altercation with another person. The fucked up power an imprint can hold over the other is disturbing. This is why I hate it.

Jacob and Sam somehow manage to meet in the middle of their distance. Jacob is silent and motionless. Sam doesn't hold back. He hammers Jacob's face, one, two, three hits and Jacob hits the ground. Stumbling back and landing flat on his ass.

Face nice and bloody, jaw dislocated. Nose broken. Cheek bone splintered. I heard it all, hell I felt it all.

Sam isn't done yet.

"You marked her! You bruised her up and cut open her back! I had to carry her broken bloody body while she wailed out in pain to my house!" his words make everything seam so ugly, because it is ugly. There is nothing pretty about this.

"_Jacob phase, you idiot!"_

Sam bends over, grabs Jacob by his shoulder to bring him up halfway and lets his fist tear against Jacob's bare skin over his heart. He stumbles back and then tips forwards, landing on his knees. Hands palming the grass to keep himself upright.

Jacob does nothing though, no out cries of pain or reminding Sam how he scared up Emily's face and tore my heart to pieces. Maybe this is his way of self healing for what he did to me? _Please stop!_

"Sam, I think it's time to stop." Paul voices out, while still wrestling with Seth in his hold. He is more stern this time and less casual.

Sam is far from over though. He phases so effortlessly into the black wolf that once protected me from leeches just a few weeks ago to now the thing that is going to massacre my imprint.

"_No Sam… stop … please.. why I can't I move?"_

Billy's hand pulls forcefully against my fur, making me yelp out in pain. I still can't move though in wolf form. Frozen to the ground for some insane reason. Emotions or an Alpha command I didn't hear? So I do something stupid. It takes nothing for me to let my human side become dominate again and I run to my destruction. My heart has never felt so heavy till now, not even when Sam tore it apart did it feel this bad.

I throw my arms around Jacob, not caring that every man now sees my naked skin protecting my imprint.

"No more Sam! You can't hurt him, without hurting me!" I cry out like a baby, like a fucking heroine. I hate myself, I hate imprinting. Sam backs up, growling out in irritation. I turn my head to the side to see him slightly out the corner of my eye.

"He has paid now for what he did. No more!" I scream at them all, Sam, Paul and Seth, with such ferocity, like the true bitter she wolf I am.

I hold Jacob close to me, letting his bloody features rest against my own personal warm canvas.

"No more…" I sob. I bring Jacob face into my blurry view. Tears poor down his face; I have never seen him cry like this. Silent, strong and yet weeping like a baby. "Your punishment is over…. No more…" I whisper. His hand reaches up and touches my face and just like that everything fades to black, only a spotlight is left on us.

"I told you no more running, we are home now Leah."

Naked, raw, emotional and bloody. This is my ugly imprint.


	2. black and blue eye

A black and blue eye, swollen lips, and a cheek painted with the most beautiful shade of purple I have ever seen.

I watch you sleep so silently, peacefully, if you can call it that? Just two hours ago my ex-lover made you his personal two minute punching bag in the name of what? Love? He lost that privilege so long ago, when he cast me away, berated me in front of the pack and killed me with passing glances that felt more like a punch in gut.

At least he never marked me, tarnished my skin like you did. He did something much worse, he cracked open my heart and forgot to put it back together. He left pieces lying out on a messy floor and didn't bother to apologize and cover it up with an obnoxious band aid.

I wonder if he thinks giving me that money, sending me away was his own personal fucked up apologize. That it took you and the physical assault you left on my body to make him see past his fucking imprint and look at me. So pretty bruises and bright red blood, that's the secret to make a wolf look past his imprint?

So how will you ever not see Bella and how I mangled her body if that's the case?

I wonder if you would have fought back against Sam, would I have protected him like he tried to protect me from you? I rather not know, lets never find out Jacob.

So now it's just me and you. And our broken home we call La Push, but it feels right here. We belong here, who else will protect our lands and people in the end? Other pack members will marry, stop phasing, have kids and grow old. They will wither and die as time moves forwarded. Time will never move forwarded for us though, just our surroundings will change. We can live forever. Perhaps when forever comes crashing down on us, ready to take us off this world we will have come to forgive each other by that time.

That would be a nice way to die, to know I love you and you love me.

"Leah, come eat." Billy's voice touches the hairs on the back of my neck and it makes me feel like everything is okay. I feel connected to him now, through you. I want to be a good daughter to him; it's insane this urge to make him feel happy and safe when a few weeks ago I could have gave two shits less. I'm not sure why I hated your father before? I think I hate all men who remind me of my own father, it's stupid I know. But then again, so is this imprint. It's beyond stupid and borderline insane. I hate the Gods.

"Leah, he will be fine. You know when he wakes up he will be healed." The old man wheels in behind me into your room. Well your closet size room.

"I know Billy." I say softly. I lean over and kiss your fixed nose, just cuts and dried blood remains from its broken state from a few hours ago.

You wince out in pain and I feel guilty for wanting to take in the selfish opportunity to touch you again, with my lips and smell you in such close proximity. I want your lingering smell to infect my skin so when I walk out this room you will still surround me.

"Leah.." you moan out. And it's like a sweet release that makes my body quiver and I grab your hand. "Sleep Jacob, I'm not running. You're my home now." I feel your fingers go limp inside my grip and your back into your residence of sleep. I am greedy though and bring those calloused fingers to my lips, nipping at one before brushing my lips against them in a soft manner.

"No more bruises, just bloody faces. I will love till the end of time." I whisper to you before letting go of you and turning to your father.

I look at Billy and follow him out the room into the small kitchen. It smells like my mother and I'm taken back by the fact I haven't smelt her till now. It's okay though. It feels like home, two widows and one ugly imprint.

We sit and eat like a normal family. They talk amongst each other and receive yes and no answers from me but my mind is still on you.

"Leah."

I look over at the man in the wheelchair and see the seriousness written in the lines on his face and the love in his eyes. It's strange, that emotion he is showing me. Almost like a father. "This is the second time my son has been brought home… less than perfect, over protecting you."

My heart skips a beat and I grip the fork in my hand harder. It hurts to hear this and guilt washes over me. No wait ... what about what you did to me? Why isn't my mother saying anything?

"What about what your son did to me?" I reply back dryly, looking him in the eyes and holding back the rage inside myself.

"You killed Bella, the only woman he loved!" You try to stand your ground against me.

"She wasn't good enough for him, the Gods did not chose her for him! I was. And thank you mother - you have been kind as always." I snare at her, the metal fork bending in my grip as neither will counteract my words. Apart me hates the way their eyes are glued on me as if I set them on fire and spit on their graves. But they have no idea what they are talking about.

I watch the old man close his eyes and inhale a breathe, " You are right, the Gods did pick you. But how long will it be before you accept it? After he dies from your withdraw or when you finally let Sam get in the last hit and kill him? What he did to you was not right, I am ashamed of him and so his mother Sara but he is still my son! " his voices out and my mother looks lost as she doesn't know what to say, she never does when it comes to me.

Removing my body from the chair, I drop the bent fork and glare at them both. "Harry would be ashamed of you both." I tell them both, wanting to hit a nerve more so in mother and it does as her eyes go wide and she moves to stand up, choking out my name, "Leah!"... It's to late though, I turn around and that's when I see you, my Jacob.

I choke out your name, "Jacob!", my whole body feels tight as I can't open and my eyes are glued onto you. There you are, walking down the hallway, so beautifully broken.

I rush to you, you crash into me.

I hold your weight against me. You're weak, your face is healed though. You look me in the eyes. "Tell me ... tell me that you will love me till the end of time. Not just bloody faces. I need to forgive you so I can love you." Your voice strikes a match in me that I am not ready to have lit ... _"Your heard me.."_

"You're my ugly imprint, I can never see past you." I whisper to you instead. I can't say **_those words_** yet. Not yet.

"That's not the same Leah! I want to forgive you! I need to forgive you! This imprint is suffocating me because I can't love you!" your face moves in such a horrid manner and your voice pushes knifes into my skin.

I can't smell your sweet aroma anymore, your temper flairs and you back away. Falling against the hallway wall and hand clutched over your heart. You stumble to stay upwards as you back away from me.

"_And they say the world was built for two, it must have not been for us."_


	3. in the lands of gods and monsters

In the land of Gods and monsters I was born an angel, breed to save people, _my tribe_, humans. Too bad my wings got clipped before I could fly away; Sam clipped them down to the skin on my back.

Now he is trying to glue them back, one feather at a time. Seth picks them up, Emily glues them together, and Sam tries to pin them to my fleshy back. They are all trying to make admen's for their sins against me.

So here I am, at Sam and Emily's house that is so full of love and compassion. So perfect, too picture perfect for my taste even now. But I need answers. I need… help.

Seth runs from the house and straight towards me. He face looks so defeated. He looks harder now though. He crashes into me, pulling me into his warm embrace. I can't help but accept it and wrap my arms around him. He is my baby brother, and he once loved me, and looked up to me before we got thrown in a world of the unknown. Before we got suckered punch in the gut by fate turning us into monsters and killing our father thanks to a relentless human who couldn't let go of a vampire boy.

Always getting want she wanted – until I made her heart stop beating.

"Leah! I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… for everything… I will " his voice cracks and he chokes out sobs, tears run fast down his face as he looks me in the eyes… " I will protect you next time, I will stand up for you next time… no matter whom it's against… just please leave Jacob." And so easily I forgive him, my sweet baby brother.

For some reason, he looks taller now, like he has grown. I cradle him back into my arms and smell the still linger small bits of youth left washing over him and feel his soft hair against my warm cheek.

"I'm sorry I killed our father." I blurt out, I have never said it before but now seemed like a good time. I have always felt I was to blame, "He could have taught you how be braver and stronger than I did against those who are bigger then you."

"No… you didn't do anything! Don't say you're sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about!" he screams at me and it breaks my heart, my sweet little baby brother is crying and finally loving me like I love him.

"I will love you better now Leah."

"I know Seth." I say with a weak smile, my own face glistening in tears.

My ears catch the noise of the wooden porch giving way under the weight of the two who hurt me more than anyone else, Sam and Emily.

"Leah, I've kept him, to keep him safe… from going after…" Sam pauses to find his words, Emily squeezing his hand to give him strength to finish his sentence. I think I finally see it now, between those two. Why fate picked her for him. So many hate Sam, half the wolves hate his rules, I hate him, and even some of the tribal members do. If I was by his side, I would urge him to fight, to revolt against them. I would be the lighter to his fuse.

Emily calms him, gives him strength to do what is right even if that means making people hate him.

"To keep him from going after Jacob and hurting you in the process of killing Jacob." His words hit me like a bullet, the sheer thought of Jacob being dead makes me shake. Seth holds me tighter.

"Seth, give me and Leah a moment." Emily says, letting go of Sam's hand and walking towards us.

Seth is reluctant to let me go but I give him a push to help separate him from and he looks hurts and confused. "I will come back Seth. Just a walk"

I hear his heart rate pick up, the anger rising in him, the possibility of Emily convincing me to leave La Push or forgive Jacob making him jealous with rage. I don't need to be a mind reader; it's our special bond as siblings. I feel what he thinks. He doesn't want Jacob in my life; he wants to keep me safe now, to keep me all to himself on La Push and find someone else. Another mate, anybody but Jacob.

"Seth, no. Calm down." Sam's voice washes him. It's an underline treat to alpha command him next. To make his feet feel like cement and not move from the spot.

"Seth, start being the brother I need now. Stay, let me talk with Emily. I need this." And just like that, Emily and I walk. Leaving behind my baby brother and ex-lover.

Minutes pass by and turns into an hour before Emily has the strength to say something. We walked to the beach shore and sit in the wet sand. It's cold outside and Emily is starting to shiver even under all the layers of her clothes. I make no move or offer to help warm her up. I need answers from her, not to forgive her and give her closure for what she did to me.

"Leah. I hated Sam. I almost told him to kill himself because I knew he would have. "

"I would have forgiven both of you then if you had."

"No you wouldn't. You would hate me even more now then you already do. But I'm not here to make you forgive me or Sam. "

"Good."

"I know what you want Leah, you want to know how I forgave Sam for mauling my face." She says it with strength and yet keeps her eyes on the crashing waves ahead of us. "All of the pack knows what he did, the tribal council members, everyone. No different then you and Jacob. The only difference is, you killed your imprints first love and mine begged me to kill him so he wouldn't hurt his first love, you. "

"What?" I look at her, questioning her statement. Her eyes clamp down on mine now as we face each other. Sam has keep this blocked out of his mind.

"Look, you will never forget what Jacob did to you but at least your scars faded away. I see mine everyday and the love Sam held for you. "

"Don't say that." I snap at her, I want to hear nothing of the love Sam held for me.

"Leah! Stop being stubborn… look, you came back with Jacob when you could have left for good. I could have ordered Sam to kill himself, but instead I let him stay by my bedside at the hospital. And then build me a home, with him because I knew in the back of my head the love he could give me would never compare to anyone else. I know you feel it, the intensity of it - it is far greater then any love Sam could have given you if he never imprinted on me. You would pick Jacob over him if I wasn't here. "

"So what are you saying Emily, I should just jump into his arms now?" I question her, standing up and feeling the anger take over me. I can hear her stand up and twist my body around when she grabs my shoulder. It scares her for a second but she doesn't back down. She is strong today.

"Jacob has been punished, just as Sam is every day he looks at my face. Jacob will never rid himself of that guilt for hurting you, if you don't believe me, next time he phases listen to his thoughts. Don't you think I feel that same guilt from Sam when he kisses my scars?"

"I will not dangle guilt over his head to make him love me."

"That is not what I am saying Leah! I'm talking about him, Jacob, wanting to make things right, to love you the right way for the rest of your lives. I forgave Sam, told him to not to feel guilty because the past is the past and if he still wanted me he could have me. What he does now is on his own accord. I finally opened myself up and accepted his love - free of guilt! "

My emotions twist into something I can't put together in words.

"What if I can't love him, what if I want him to feel guilty for the rest of life and never let him forget?" I ask her.

Emily finally lets go of my arm and just clings to me. For the first time, in a very long time, I let this woman hug me.

"When you are ready to feel loved, you will forgive him." she whispers to me.

And I believe her.


	4. blue jeans

Blue jeans, no shirt. Bare feet, wet hair. Finger tips tracing skin where marks have disappeared like a bad memory. This is how I find you in my room. After I sent you away yesterday because I am a selfish bastard who was asking a girl for her love who is not ready yet to give it. I am still asking and I am still selfish.

Do you know I wallowed in physical pain, in the middle of the woods from loss of contact with you? Would this make it easier for you to forgive me and love me now? Probably not.

Your eyes glare at the figure in the mirror – but which reflection? Mine or yours? I rather not know Leah. All I know is you have been gone since yesterday, since you couldn't tell me you loved me, nor could I tell you.

Not since I fell backwards in the cramped hallway, away from you, heart in my hand like a poor man begging for love.

I walk up to you; rest my hands on your slick wet skin. Heat against heat, its electrifying! How could I have ever missed this from before? The way it sends something so trivial and yet satisfying down my spine and into the core of my loins.

You scowl at me, eyes trapping mine through the reflection of the full length mirror hanging on my tiny wall between the chestier drawer and window.

I let myself loss control. Just like that, my fist shatters the mirror. Glass clutters around our feet, droplets of blood brush the wall from my hand. Your body moves backward, flushed against mine. Every inch of you is pressed against me, I want to drink it in like a cheap beer and get drunk off it quick.

Open cuts heal quickly on my hand.

You feel like heaven in my arms, I've missed you. It's been only 12 hours since you been away and this is how I react to it? I'm too fragile; this imprint is beyond shattered and can't handle you being gone for even a moment again. Not like that, not with unsaid things lingering between and anger.

"You can't leave me again. Not even for a minute." I grunt at you, finger tips press on your hips. Lips pressing against the scar I gave you, the mark on your neck. My claim over your body.

"You stink. I can still smell **_him_** on you. Shower better next time." The anger inside me rises again, but I keep my grip lose on your precious skin. The thought of you in a house with him, tempting fate with a possibility of him slipping up and taking you back burns me. I know he still loves, I've seen it; felt it when he thought no one was poking inside his head. _You weren't made for him though; you are my broken china doll!_

"I needed to see **_her_**, Jacob. I needed answers. You need time to heal." You choke out in a bitter tone.

"We can do it together." Another lie I tell to satisfy this imprint, to keep you next to me. To keep my wolf calm.

Your body moves in my hold so smoothly, all I can see is your plump lips.

"The pack banded against me, my own brother turned against me and you… you tore me to piece far worse than Sam and Emily ever did. I deserve better then all of you. But I'm here, I'm trying Jacob. I just need time." I have heard that before and something snaps inside me, my aggression takes over and I don't hold back. I let go of you and step away. I will not break **_that promise_** again.

"You are not a saint either Leah. You killed a human, you killed Bella. And don't deny you didn't enjoy it!" I scream at you and I can see the fuse being lit inside you, only a matter of time before it blows. God why can't we just talk and not tear each other down?

"You are the reason the pack hated you, you tortured us with mocking notions and hateful thoughts. That was all you Leah! " I feel no remorse for saying this either.

"Go tell hell Jacob. My fiancé left me for my cousin, it wasn't like Bella leading you on and then running back too Edward. And you didn't kill your father by phasing in front of him? Did you? And you sure as hell didn't have to watch your own siblings, much less a baby brother follow in your footsteps and become the monster we are." your voice rings out in my ears.

"We are not monsters!" I scream back at you with full force.

"Yes we are! How else do you explain me?" Tears lick the sides of your face, your chest hives up and down and redness spreads like a fire across your cheeks. How did I not see this so long ago? How did they not see this, our pack brothers?

I reach out to you and you back away, feet pressing into the broken glass on the floor. You hiss out in pain. I move again, this time touching you. I yank you up against me. You look fragile, you look almost human. You don't fight me though, I hold you steady by your hips and you let me. Your lips quiver in fear at me. Please don't fear me, _my she-wolf_.

I embrace you, lips by your ear, nose buried in your hair as I inhale your warm vanilla scent.

"No, you're my beautiful imprint! " I roar at you in a rough whisper, demanding you to hear it.

"Please Leah… just let me love you so I can make this better." I strain to tell you, it's like each word I say is blow against my lungs. Struggling to breath against the weight of the pain you have inflicted on me. I haven't forgotten about Bella, and how you slaughtered her. Nor have I forgotten how I tried to slaughter you. But here I am, a broken man, a dying imprint, begging you to let me fix this.

"Jacob… love me, please.." God, nothing has ever sounded so perfect. "Yes!" I breathe out loud with such excitement and resolve.

My lips find yours, its rough, it demanding. I bruise them, part them, nip them and you don't pull away. I love how you work that tongue of yours against mine. They way your hands pull at my hair and legs lock around my body. The way your ass feels in the palm of my hands, and how the warmth of your center excited my cock.

Fuck, this is amazing.

There is no doubt now, you and I were made for each other, baby.

I walk over to my bed and drop you onto it with no pause for softness. The hunger in your eyes demands something different. I breathe you in and a musky smell of sex floods this small enclosed room. It's delicious and intoxicating. I'm going to make you scream my name tonight.

Your jeans and panties are nothing but shreds of fabric in my grip now; I don't need to be gentle. You are a she-wolf, **_my she-wolf_**. Red marks barely touch your skin where the fabric broke against it. It's already starting to fade. I let you kiss me one last time before I kiss something else.

I don't bother with your breast, nor your stomach – another day, another night, we have forever to explore each other.

I dive into your velvet folds, your breath hitches, my tongue moves against your slick skin. Your hands grip my hair and I push harder against your sweet little bud with my tongue. Lapping over and over, creating a friction between your legs to send you over the edge. I pause a moment, nip at your clit, pull on it softly and you hiss at the missed friction. You want a release, and I'm going to make remember it for a life time.

This moment, this night, is about you and you alone.

I smile at myself, your legs shake as you're so close to release. I pull up, letting your smell wash over me. I move up over you, your eyes snap open and stare at me with such a fire. I lick my lips, tasting the dripping juices made by that delicate pussy of yours.

"Come apart for me baby… Let me hear you scream my name."

"Jacob.." you hiccup out, not good enough.

"Louder."

"Jacob!" you scream out, holding nothing back this time. You're not fighting it, good girl.

I move back down, I don't tease you, my mouth latches to your sweet soft lips as my tongue flickers against the tender flesh between them. Your hips buck against my mouth, I press harder, move my tongue faster.

"Jacob… Ahh…." You say it with such conviction as you come apart at my touch. I don't let go either.

Nothing has ever tasted sweeter. Nothing will ever compare to this. You lay there, motionless now. I grab the sheet lying next to us, wipe my face and crash next to you. I fall asleep listening to your heart beat.

"_You're going to be play the staring role in my heart, just wait and see Leah."_


	5. God she is beautiful

God, she is beautiful.

No tight and pursed lips, no semi permanent anchored brows in a downward position of hate. No black pitted eyes dulled with hate. Everything that made her ugly ceases to exist right now. Right now all I see is my beautiful _broken_ china doll.

I never understood that term before, chin doll, until now. Nothing has ever looked so beautiful, perfect, and innocent till now. Not even Bella. Even though my she-wolf is broken, and we are hanging on by a thin tread and cheap glue, she is my beautiful, broken china doll.

_I will spend the rest of my life holding you together, just you wait and see Leah._

I move to slide out the bed as she lays here sleeping, dead to the world. For once, she looks at peace. I want to savor this moment. I wonder if this was Leah, the real Leah , pre phase? Pre Sam and Emily? He is an idiot for ever letting go of her.

How do you even let go of an angel and watch her fall to the ground with no wings? I will tell you how, you imprint. And that's okay, because she is mine now. It's strange to feel so possessive, beyond the comprehension of the term, _jealous boyfriend_ and far more complex. I think the human side of me likes it, the wolf inside me craves it.

Finally pulling my eyes off her, I move to my chestier drawer and pull some clothes on. I have things I need to deal with today, finally.

I move next to my small bed and hover over her. I am greedy though and no simple feather kiss on her cheek will be good enough. I lift her head gently, press my lips against hers and make her melt into my touch. So easily she moves with me, so naturally she sits up and lets those arms clutch me against her.

I pull back from the kiss. Satisfied and tempted to stay and make her see stars again. Because that's the only thing an angel should see.

"I have to go." I whisper against her lips.

"Morn for her." She sighs back. She knows, she understands. She demands I do this, so we can move forward regardless if she hates the woman in the grave I am about to visit.

"I will come back."

"I know you will." she whispers back with sleepy eyes and soft smile, she is scared and trying to hide it behind a fake smile.

"I loved her, but I can love you more." And that isn't a lie - the imprint demands it! And maybe my heart too?

"I know." and her smile grows a little bigger and this time she believes me and feels a bit at ease.

I just need a human moment first. Were I weep for the woman who I first loved and fought for to keep alive. It's the natural thing to do, for the human side of me. So I will visit Bella's grave and say goodbye to a Swan who never swam towards me. Charlie was told she and Edward died in a plane crash on their way back from their honeymoon - blissfully unaware of the painful truth.

And I hope saying goodbye will mean when I look at Leah, I will never see how she killed Bella. I want to put this behind us, like she is putting what I did to her behind us.

Three hours later and I know the slate is clean. I shed my tears for Bella, but all I see now is Leah. The wolf inside me is at peace as my heart is now giving into its demands and all it wants is the figure I see in front of me now - Leah.

Like a lost lamb, with no grace, I see her fumbling out the house, down the wheel chair ramp. My inner wolf likes this, watching my sweet little gray wolf whimper out for me, her mate. The animal side of me will treasure this moment, lap it up and never forget it. Today is our day. The day the imprint will win out without blood being shed first.

I don't run to her though and she doesn't run to me. We have too much pride for such submissive behavior. She knows she has won. Never doubt the imprint pull. For once, I appreciate it.

I walk up to her and she stumbles into me but with head held high. I take her into my arms, I want to lick her from head to toe and taste that warm vanilla scent inside my mouth again. Instead I settle for nipping her neck and sucking over the prettiest scar ever. The indentations left behind from my teeth.

Her moan is a soft whimper. It makes me twinge in excitement.

"Jacob." She breathes out my name and it makes my body go hard and rigid in the most delicate place. She wastes no time, latching onto my hand as she pulls me into the house.

Back to our little closet size room.


	6. when i lay in bed with you

When I lay in bed with you, you make my heart beat again. I can feel it, that red meaty thing purring against my chest cavity.

It's amazing how much I adore it. Now I'm just going to wait till you open your eyes and the monster I know you will one day remember, the one who killed your Bella. And not your Leah. But when? No one knows.

I know fate hates me and one day you will play that card, throw it into my face. How I killed a human, your human and that unborn thing inside her that was slowly eating its way out of her. It's okay, I will hit you back with how your fist tore against my skin and nails sliced open my fleshy back.

You can love me all you want, _fucking imprint_, but I'm still the woman who killed your precious Swan and your still the man who beat me. I do smile as I remember it now, how she pulled you into her web of hell and false pretenses. She made you feel a false love, pretended to care and then gave you a sample of her lips. Teasing you like whore who wants the money up front before she leaves you alone in the car in some back ally with cock in hand.

That is what Bella Swan was, a cheap love whore.

So yes, I Leah Clearwater, enjoyed killing her. And you know what, I would do it again. The bitch deserved it.

No one hurts _my imprint_, not even the woman he loves. No wait… loved? She suffocated you with pain, she was your Sam but with less remorse. At least he didn't string me along like a lost puppy. The thought of her has my fingers curled into my palms, nails pricking open my skin. Go ahead let them bleed, it only makes me feel more alive in this small moment I have with you before you wake and possibly see me with eyes that hate me.

Eyes that looked down upon me when you mapped me with bruises.

Yes, this imprint still scares the hell out of me. I do not have faith in it like the rest do and I don't think you do either. We are just trying to stay afloat in an ocean of fucked up emotions and bad fairy tale legends.

Your lashes flutter as you open your tired eyes. So worn out and well beyond your youth, you look like a man and not a 17 year old boy with no worries in the world.

Doesn't matter. Nothing has every looked so beautiful to me till now.

I let my hand uncoil and cup your face. Your nose twitches and you catch the scent of my fresh blood and already healing hand. Touching my hand, you pull it in front of your face. Your eyes roam over it and then you press it to your lips. You lick it clean and kiss it softly. It's very animalistic and I wonder if we were only human would this turn me on as much as it is right now?

"My imprint." You whisper and it makes things feel insanely good inside me. You have me pinned beneath you before I can blink. I'm not going to fight this reaction of yours. I want it, I want to feel good.

You make me feel good.

The smell of sex leeks between my legs and you know it. Dry fingers move up the inside of my leg, pressing against the nectar drops beading downwards. You bring those slick wet fingers up to my lips and the smell is amazing. I suck on them; I want to suck on something else.

Slowly removing them, you kiss me hastily and position yourself between my legs. You don't waste time and you're not gentle either. It excites me. The feel of your length sliding into me,_fuck me_, this is what I need for eternity.

...

"Fuck … this feels like heaven." I grunt out to her, she is making me crazy. They way she squeezes me, holds me inside the warmth of her body is nothing like I could have imagined.

Teasing her, I move slowly. Her legs wrap around me, heels digging into my back side to urge me, make me move faster. I'm going to make her squirm first; I want to make her beg. I want to feel dominate. The wolf in me demands it.

"Tight little pussy begging for my cock to move faster?" I ask her, taking this moment between us to a dirty place. There will be time for love later.

Her foot slams into my backside. She isn't going to say it, not yet.

"Tell me you wanna get fucked hard. Tell me you only want me." The light in her eyes flair up in a heat mixed between rage and lust. She can bitch later but right now she wants a high I can only provide her.

"Jacob." her breath hitches as I make her stutter to say my name with a well placed hard trust driving into her."Fuck … just say that. " I hiss back at her as it excites me. I can feel her lushes walls tighten around me as she bucks her hips upwards. "Jacob." She hiccups my name.

My hips move forwarded, wasting no more time. I trust hard like a mad man driven insane. I want to make her body move with each trust, the bed shake and the frame holding it up starts to crack. I pick my tempo up, and she clings to me as I abuse her body in the most sexually pleasing way possible.

She belongs to me.

The air is losing its hold in this tiny room, the smell of sex enveloping us is taking over. I like it. She moans beneath me, I grunt above her. Beads of sweat roll down my chest and meshes with hers.

I need more, want to feel deeper inside her. I twisted our bodies as I take her from behind. Hands firmly on her hips and she flattens her chest against the mattress, firm little ass up in the air for my eyes only.

"That's it baby... fuck… so tight." I stumble to find my words as I take her in this new position. The feel of her wet snatch around the bottom of my shaft and washing over my balls is nothing like I have felt before. I want more, I want all of her.

Trusting into her, pounding into her the bed crumbles beneath us but I am not done yet. And she isn't trying to crawl away from me either. I lift her upper body up, one hand pressed firmly against the curve of her breast. Lips on her neck and my other hand pressed against something more delicate. Letting my index finger rub against her little rose bud clit.

She jerks in my grip, wanting to break free from the overdrive of excitement. I'm not letting go or up.

"All of this belongs to me." I grunt against her neck as I lightly pat the top of her wet folds making her catch her breath. "So tell me Leah, does this belong to me?" I ask her, slowing down my trust. I smack the top of her pussy again and she yelps. The contact, the friction, the stimulation – I want her to never forget this encounter.

"Say it Leah." I demand again, another smack on her soaking wet pussy.

"Yes Jacob!" she screams out and that's all I need. It sadistic but so animalistic and that is what we are, animals in human skin. I let go of her, watching her resume her previsions position. And this time I don't hold back, entering her with such demand it has her going limp as I take her roughly and without remorse.

She lets her own hand wonder to her wet lips, moving her fingers in a frantic circular motion. I can feel the pressure of them pressing against her as I assault her body, it only makes me drive into her harder.

"Jacob … fuck … "she growls and hisses as she gets off and I will not last much longer.

Another hard trust and I can feel it happening, one more trust and I let myself cum inside her.

I pull out from her and gather her into my arms. We lay there in silence before a soft giggle escapes her mouth.

"We broke your tiny room."

"Worth it." I say jokingly.

"Now what?" she ask me, she looks so tiny in my arms and almost timid. Where is my strong Leah?

"You keep this amazing moment between us. No showing off my goods to the boys when we phase. Don't want them getting jealous. " I grin at her and find this is so much easier, to just love her and not hate her. This feels good.

She chokes on a laugh, and shoves me to the side.

"They've all seen your bits and I unfortunately have seen theirs, not from a lack of not trying either. And sorry Alpha boy, Quil has you beat though." she retorts backs, snide and snarky just like the old Leah but a bit softer.

"Well then I will make sure to give the boys a free peep joy." I shoot back at her and move to get off this broken bed before she can assault me. I'm not getting far though, it's the living room and she is already pouncing on me as my face kisses the wooden floor.

"Jacob Black, I will brand you if you so much let an image slip past that tiny brain yours."

I turn over in her light hold and have her straddling my mid section.

"Always trying to play with my ass, eh?"

This earns me a quick punch in the arm. I never said my girl played nice.


	7. i stare into black eyes

I stare into black eyes pitted like the hell I was born into. They bore into my body like a hot poker stick. His lips are laced in a foul smelling red liquid. That perfect pearl iridescent skin tainted in the many shades of fresh and old blood.

"Edward." I breathe out his name. My bare feet dig into soft ground beneath me and already my wolf is crawling out from deep within me to tear him to pieces.

"You took something from me Leah that did not belong to you." his voice surrounds me as he growls like an animal and not a dead corps.

"She was dying anyways!" I scream at him with self righteous.

He moves wildly at me, I phase, reach forwarded with my paw. I want to crack that diamond skin.

I do not.

His cold grip latches onto my front legs as he brings me up to him, his face buried into the side of my neck. I snap at the air and try to push back.

"This is how you will die. Intimately and slowly."

Is this how I, the she wolf,will die? I should had been a good imprint, listen to my imprintee' and stayed put at home like a good girl. But I am far from good. And Jacob is far from saving me this time.

And Sam.

They were summoned by old man Quil. I was not invited, I was ordered to stay back.

This will be my parting gift though to the world, to my murderer Edward Cullen by insanity till burning in fire looks like heaven.

I let that night reply in my head, the night I killed his wife. Every second, every scream and every drop of blood that touched my face. I want him to feel it all, this is my gift to him. Insanity for eternity.

"_Fuck you leech."_

"_Goodbye Jacob, I love you."_

"Leah! … No!" I know that voice. It comforts me. It's a nice way to die.

I was loved after all.


	8. imprinting is your woman

Imprinting is your woman, and she will set you free.

**Another fucking lie.**

I watched his blood stained teeth sink into her neck. That humanity he clung too was long gone.

Her body twitched, skin bristled forwarded and shades of gray fur vanished. For good. Crimson velvet slipped down between her skin and his lips. Her screams are like a horror movie. It will never be erased from my mind.

His black eyes were dulled with something - shame? He didn't enjoy it. He just knew he had to do it. For Bella.

It was simple cause and reaction.

We had a growing audience. He knew he was not going to make it out alive. Sam arrived; there was no time to waste as we moved without a conflict among each other.

Leah's screams were still alive.

Paws had never echoed so loud in my giant ears. The packs mind had never been so silent inside my head. They waited for the outcome of mine and Sam's slaughter of a vampire who dare touched a woman that we have both loved and still love.

Edward accepted it, our _reaction_, with open arms. He dropped her body like it was a rag doll on fire. Those icy limbs straight out as me and Sam crisscrossed him, tearing him in half. I will cherish it forever.

The pack howled, mourned like a band of brothers over a sister they had never learned to love.

I left my fairy-tale monster body and crawled on hands and knees to Leah. My heart twisted my body into a pain that had me crying like an infant.

Sam was enraged; he never left his wolf state.

...

Twenty minutes later the black wolf still circles us and cries out to the heavens above us as the rest of the pack burn Edwards body.

"Come on baby, open your eyes ... " I beg her. Her body is limp in my arms. Eyes closed, lips parted and color draining her personal canvas. The smell of him ruins her scent.

Her screams are dead now.

My body is frantic, searching and trying to figure out how to breathe. What was the beat my heart had follow? How did it go? Come one Leah, make your heart beat again, mine has no heart to mimic now.

"Leah!" I cry out her name, "You do not get to leave me!" I am a coward and need her to live. Tears cover my face.

Give me a heartbeat.

_Imprinting is your woman, and she will set you free. _The words about our grand love are echo inside my head.

No she doesn't, she is the starring role of your heart and when she leaves her center stage she will bring you down too.

She will never set you free.

My imprint was nothing more than an ugly bitch. Maybe that's why it will end so bitterly today. A perfect ending to a disgusting beginning.

Too bad I don't regret it, none of it. It's the only thing in my life that loved me back.

I pull her hand up and let it cup my face, its growing cold. There is a weak pulse now. It's like a tiny piece of pretty hope.

It's mine and I will take it like a greedy fool.

Imprinting. I never wanted it. Now it's all I want.

"Jacob."

It's my new favorite sound.


	9. born to die together

"Leah." I say her name as she consumes my thoughts as I look down at this pieces of paper one last time before I bear the looks of everyone outside waiting on me.

"Our imprint was born inside an already burning house. We were not made for each other. I thought for a moment though, with you lying in my bed we could have ruled the heavens and the earth. You're still my Queen in the end.

We made mistakes, we never did fit right. I didn't matter though, because only you could see my spark. You were never my type, not until my fingers brushed you hair back and I saw the marks I left on your neck long before I marked you as my imprint. Those pretty little bruises.

They shined so brightly to me. It made my heart beat like a bass drum, drowning out every word between us in that moment. That moment I made a promise to you and took you into my pack with guilt in my eyes. I can't even remember what I said to you, I just know how my heart found its new rhythm - your heartbeat. I know how your lips moved when you formed your words, how your eyes never looked so alive when I agreed to take you in. I remember all of that so clearly now.

Maybe that should had been our clue, was that the beginning of our imprint? Did we really hate the idea of it so much that we missed our opportunity to do it the right way? With less blood and tears? Maybe we should have bought into the dream of it, like the rest did.

Paul never questioned it, it made him better. His imprinting is the ideal dream of it. That should had been our imprint! It's like an automatic scream inside my head now. Maybe one day it will be softer till I can no longer hear it.

Still, it doesn't cover up what went wrong. How you killed my Swan, how I mapped you with bruises in return and how you took glee in my bloody face as punishment.

You had a hole in your heart and I put a cable through it. I gave you concrete feet and planted you firmly in the one place I was going to grant you freedom from. A love this heavy was never meant to rule the heavens and the earth.

Instead, it was meant to rule our lives to the bitter end.

You are my imprint, my beautiful imprint." Folding the paper back up, I grip it tightly as I make the long walk down clutching onto it in fear of losing it.

Moments pass by and its time now to finally let it go and place it in the one set of hands it belongs in.

"When you feel lost and alone, this is your map back to me." I tell you softly, Leah.

"Jacob." you whisper back, pressing the paper against your flowers with shaky fingers.

You have never looked so beautiful till now. White dress and red lips. Hair back and a smile bright enough to light the world. _Why did you ever stop smiling?_

You dawn this green forest like it belongs to you. I will make it yours, if that is what you wish? Everyone stands and for once, all eyes are on you with lips curved into smiles and tears falling down their faces. Makeup is ruined on some and hearts beat for joy at this precious moment. At our special occasion, our wedding.

One heart stands out amongst the crowd though, it is Sam's.

It's a sad song, as he says goodbye to you. His first love. I know it, because it's the same one I used when I said goodbye to Bella at her grave.

Emily takes your flowers and our love story written on a piece of paper, she is full of so much joy for you. There is no pity in her eyes and that somehow makes her scars look less ugly. Seth hands me the rings, his glare is steady and his smile is wicked. It's a playful jester; he loves you but is ready to accept this now.

Everything fades. It's just me and you.

Time moves by.

"You may kiss the bride." It's an echo that I barely register coming from Old Man Quill. You do though.

Your hands shake and they clamp tightly on my face. You smile again, and God your beautiful when you smile.

"I will love you till the end of time, Jacob." You whisper to me.

I have never felt so alive till now. I press your body tightly against mine, letting my lips find your spot. That soft skin beneath your ear. I breathe you in and there is nothing but warm vanilla that fills my nose. Just like before.

You tremble against me. It's amazing.

"Baby, you and I. We were born to die together. And there is no death for us." I whisper back.

My lips move over and find yours. It's a kiss to last us a life time.

* * *

**Yay for HEA ending :) Read final installment , "It feels like Suffocation, Baby". And don't forget to feed the writers heart by leaving a review.**


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